


advanced theoretical team building

by winchilsea



Category: DCU, Young Justice
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-17 17:45:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winchilsea/pseuds/winchilsea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're supposedly a study group, but it's not like any studying actually goes on. Community AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	advanced theoretical team building

**Author's Note:**

> for the young justice ficathon [prompt](http://kidiots.livejournal.com/23198.html?thread=245150#t245150): _S1 team, community AU_

"Dick," says Artemis without looking up from her phone. "Do we want to know why you're wearing sunglasses indoors?"

He cackles, rubbing at his chin. "Don't call me Dick. Call me…Robin."

"Robin," she repeats.

"Dude, awesome," says Wally. "Call me Flash." They high-five and Artemis snorts.

"More like _Kid_ Flash."

*

Artemis isn't sure how she feels about the study group. The only reason she's at Mount Justice Community College (stupid name) is because her mom had turned weepy and said a lot emotional stuff about _getting the chance she never had_ and, well. Here she is. Mount Justice Community College. Fun.

(She also has to keep her head low because her entire family has gone here and let's just say none of them graduated with honors or anything.)

*

"Who are you always texting?!" M'gann blurts out one day. "Everyone you know is right here!"

Artemis looks around the room slowly before going back to her phone and angrily typing, _NO IM NOT PULLING THE FIRE ALARM 4 FUN DAD._

There's no way she's telling them about her sordid family history.

*

No one really knows what Conner's so angry about all the time, just that he's usually very angry and does a lot of incoherent shouting. And drugs. They kind of suspect drugs.

(Turns out, they're actually nicotine patches, but the study group still eyes him funny sometimes. Most of the time.)

In any case, Artemis revises her initial impression of him from _holy hot stuff_ to _holy hot mess_.

*

Their Spanish professor, Professor Batson, gets fired on account of him not actually being old enough to be a professor. Batson spends most of his time pressing his face against the glass of the study room windows, staring longingly inside.

It's creepy, but Wally takes full advantage of the situation by having the kid fetch him snacks. If Artemis were any other person, she'd make a comment about exploitation. As it stands, Kaldur gives him a very firm lecture.

*

They don't discuss paintball. Ever.

But if they were going to discuss paintball, then what happens is they all woke up with paintball guns and collective amnesia. By the end of it, Artemis had nearly killed no less than three people, including Wally, and pulled every single fire alarm in the building; Kaldur had almost drowned while hiding in the pool in order to shoot passersby in the name of his king; Dick is both a ninja and a fucking acrobat; and she and Conner nearly did some actual fucking.

Yeah. They don't talk about it.

Oh, and M'gann upended every car in the parking lot while Roy made dick jokes. Typical.

*

Generally, Kaldur is a very nice guy. Once you start mentioning his king, however, all bets are off. He's very passive aggressive about it.

The rest of them? Well, they'd be doubting the existence of his king, except he's also very eager to show them pictures of him being…adorable.

"And this is my king spearing the river monster with his trident. Isn't he magnificent?" says Kaldur dreamily. They nod, disinterested, which causes an instant dark cloud to come over him as he repeats, _"Isn't he magnificent?"_

They nod hastily, complete with nervously enthusiastic noises—except Artemis, who is busy stabbing at her Blackberry.

*

One time, they get stuck in a video game and Artemis gets some very disturbing secondhand accounts about M'gann stabbing a person to death. Because they were suffering. From ax wounds. That she inflicted to begin with.

*

Everyone knows that Dick and Wally are best friends. But everyone also knows that Wally's a dick, Dick's also a dick except he's a ninja dick, and they get into seriously epic fights that bring in the _entire campus._

Artemis tries stopping it with the power of her fists, but, again, Dick is a ninja and Wally is actually really fast. Which makes sense considering the whole, y'know, track scholarship that he subsequently lost because he chickened out and faked an injury.

In any case, the rest of the study group is trying to talk sense into them. Except Roy, who seems to think that this is a contest and set up a third fort all by himself. Literally, by himself. He has no army.

*

If there's a celebration, dance, or otherwise exciting event, Zatanna is a must have.

"Ytrap, ytrap!"

She's so eloquent.

*

They throw a housewarming party for Dick and Wally when they get a new place together.

Roy loses his arm in a freak accident.

"What the hell, M'gann?!"

"I live in a bad neighborhood! Oh my gosh, Roy, are you okay? Hello, Megan! Of course you're not okay, what am I saying."

*

When Artemis comes clean about her dad _kind of_ being on the faculty list for Light College, she doesn't except for Dick to say, "Uh. Already knew that."

Or for M'gann to come clean about the fact that _another_ Light faculty member has been blackmailing her after catching her cheating on a test. "By accident, of course! I mean the cheating part, not the catching me accidentally cheating part. Please don't be angry."

Or for Conner to admit that his dad is on the Board of Directors—the same Board of Directors that continuously has civil wars in between simultaneously trying to usurp and keep Dean Tornado in power. "It's, uh. Complicated."

Roy crosses his arms and says, "Yeah, my—uh. Ollie's on the Board too."

Kaldur colors and says that his king has many positions of power and Wally scratches at his nose as he admits to his uncle also being part of the Board.

Everyone turns to Dick, who has made a pair of sunglasses appear out of thin air. (Or, alternatively, his backpack.)

"I am Batman! I am the night," he says. Which, yeah, saw that coming.

*

Paintball: The Retake.

Her dad is calling the shots, which means Jade is hiding in the shadows and picking everyone off.

Roy loses his mind and starts shooting at the study group. Roy loses _a lot_ of things, come to think of it. ("Heh. Lost my virginity to—")

Dean Tornado is somehow paralyzed, so they end up lugging him around campus as they struggle to shut the paintball competition down.

"So not feeling the aster," Dick says and Artemis grits her teeth.

"Now is so not the time for one of your dumb pop culture references!"

*

Truth is, Artemis actually does like her study group. Just don't tell them that. Especially Wally.


End file.
